She will always love me
by iluvdarts
Summary: This is a story with an established relationship between catherine and sara. it is from LINDSEY's point of view. this is completely AU  no spoilers at all! WARNING! THIS CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH! Please read and review!


-1**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MUCH TO MY DISPLEASURE. I AM NOT MAKING ANY PROFIT ON THIS STORY SO PLEASE DON'T SUE.**

A/N: This story is contains an already established relationship between Catherine and Sara. It is from Lindsey's point of view. The inspiration for this came from my own mother. This story is based on my own experience. WARNING!!!!!! This story contains character death! Please read and review. Although it is a sad story I hope you enjoy reading it!

No one was happier than me, well perhaps my mum was, when she married Sara 3 years ago. Don't get me wrong I loved my dad but he was never there for me. I may only be 10 years old but I know when I'm not wanted. When Sara first came to Vegas her and my mum never got on but one day that all changed. it wasn't long before Sara seemed to become a part of the family. She always treated me like an adult, having proper conversations with me and not babying me at all. The day she proposed to my mum was magical. She'd asked me to help picking out the ring and when I saw it on my mum's hand I knew that we had made the right choice. The wedding went off without a hitch and we've had a blissful 3 years. I love Sara just as much as I love my mum. I've even taken to calling her mother which she gives me the biggest smile at whenever I do. Then something happened. I don't really understand everything. Sara seemed to be getting sick a lot. I first thought that maybe Sara was pregnant but they soon told me that wasn't the case. Neither of them knew what was happening and they were really worried. Sara went to the doctors and he sent her for hundreds of tests. I think they eventually found out what it was but they didn't tell me. All I knew was that Sara was sick but she was going to get better. Every few months she would go into hospital for a few days and I was never allowed to visit her in there. I don't know what they did to her but she always came home looking worse instead of better. There would be days when she could keep nothing down and then other days when she was fine. I could see that she was losing weight and she was always tired. I knew that everyone else knew what was going on because they would always stop talking whenever I walked into the room. It wasn't long before I found out that Sara had quit her job. I thought that she was just using her holiday and sick days. I knew that things were getting serious when I found that out. Sara loves her job and wouldn't give it up for nothing but still no one would tell me what was going on. I remember we went on holiday a few weeks back. We only went a few hours drive away but we had to keep stopping as the car motion kept making Sara sick. She can't even take me to school anymore. All my teachers keep asking me how Sara is and I don't really have the answer for them. It seems as if they know more that I do about what is wrong with Sara. Then a few weeks ago I did naughty thing. I eavesdropped on my mum's phone conversation. I'm not sure who she was talking to but she was talking about Sara. I was loading the dishwasher and the phone is in the hallway just outside the kitchen.

"_there isn't much else we can do. It's on the move. Though the surgery removed it from her leg it's now spread. It's in her liver, lungs and kidney's now. I don't know how much longer we've got"_

I left the kitchen when my mum had hung up the phone and confronted her about it. I asked about what had spread. I knew that I was finally going to find out the truth when she sat me down on the couch and knelt in front of me. Sara was upstairs resting at this point so it was just the two of us. She told me that the reason Sara was sick and why she kept having to go to the hospital was because she had cancer. It started in a mole behind her left knee but it was now moving throughout her body at a fast pace. Cancer! The only thing I knew about cancer was that she was going to lose her hair.

"_I don't want a bald mummy" _

I couldn't help the words come out as the tears were flooding down my face. I loved Sara's curly hair. I couldn't imagine her without it.

It was then that I found out just how serious things were. She told me that Sara wasn't going to lose her hair as she wasn't having chemo anymore and that is what causes the hair loss.

"_Lindsey, the doctor gave us some very bad news. He says that there is nothing else that he can do apart from keep Sara's pain at bay. She is going to die. He says that she has got anywhere between 2 months to 2 years left."_

I completely broke down at this point any threw myself into my mums arms. I could tell that she was crying as she was comforting me but I couldn't care less. My Sara was dying and no one had told me. I pushed away from my mum and said I was going to go and speak to Sara. My mum told me to dry my eyes first as she didn't want to upset Sara anymore than could be helped. I dried my eyes and ran up the stairs. Sara sat up on the bed as I ran in. I just grabbed her in a big hug and refused to let her go. I guess she realised that I had found out what was going on because she just kept saying that everything was going to be ok and that she loved me. I couldn't stop the tears from falling again. Sara moved us so we were both lying down on the bed. I automatically curled up at her side and looked her in the eyes. She smiled down at me as she pushed the hair out of my eyes. She didn't say anything else but comforted me in her own way.

Later that week we had a bed placed in the study downstairs as Sara could no longer manage to climb the stairs. She even had a button that she could push if she needed anything. We had the locks on the door changed to a key code so that friends could get in without Sara having to get up to open it. Sara was never alone even when my mum was at work which wasn't as often as usual. I'll never forget the sound of her laugh coming from the living room when I came home from school. I can't remember what she was watching but her laugh will stay with me forever.

Then it happened. It was only 2 weeks after the confession from my mum about Sara's illness. It was only 6.30am and I had just turned the light on in my room. I always woke up early and I liked to read. I wasn't supposed to read at this time and had been told off on numerous occasions for doing so but I still risked it. Only a few minutes later I heard footsteps outside my door. I quickly turned off my light and dived under the covers. I heard my door open and my mum called out my name. I thought I'd been caught again and I sheepishly removed my head from the covers. I took one look at my mums face and knew that it was something worse.

"_Put on your dressing gown and come downstairs. It's time to say goodbye"_

I did as she asked and raced downstairs. Upon entering the room I could tell that Sara was finding it difficult to breath. She just turned towards me and held open her arms for a hug. I ran straight into her arms and cried my eyes out.

"_just remember Lindsey, I will always love you. No matter what you do I will always be with you forever. You will always be my daughter and I'm proud of the person you will become. I love you so much"_

"_I love you too mummy, please don't leave me"_

"_I'm sorry sweetheart but my time has come, be good for your mum."_

My mum joined us both at this point and I could see the paramedics waiting by the door.

"_I love you Lindsey" _

"_I love you too, goodbye mummy"_

With that I gave a kiss before I left the room and sat on the stairs. I had a perfect view of both the room and the front door from here. I saw the paramedics placing a mask over Sara's face and at the same time I saw my best friends mum walk through the door. She came over and pulled me into a hug as I watched the paramedics place Sara on a trolley and place her into the ambulance. My mum went with her and I was left behind. I guess I wasn't going to school that day. An hour later the phone went and I was called to the phone.

_Lindsey, its all over now. She's in no more pain. I'll be home soon"_

The next few days were a blur but I remembered going back to school on the Monday. I was dinner monitor which meant I had to take the collected dinner monies to the office. When I came back to the classroom my teacher met me outside and pulled me into a big hug. She said that she was sorry to hear about Sara. She also asked me if I was still up to doing the Christmas concert the following week. I was to sing my first ever solo and she knew how excited Sara had been about coming to listen to me. I said that I was still going to sing as Sara would be listening from heaven. She asked me about the funeral and I told her where and when it was. My best friend told me that on Friday during orchestra my other teacher could be seen with very red eyes as if she had been crying. It was touching to know that my teachers cared so much about Sara. I don't remember much about the funeral except that my teacher came. It was during school hours but she had taken the time off to be there. I didn't realise until she took hold of my hand as we were leaving the church.

And now life is going on and never a day goes past with out me missing Sara but somehow I can still feel her presence next to me.

I sang my first solo today and I know that Sara heard me and was proud.


End file.
